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Request a FREE 15-Minute Consultation with Elizabeth Evans, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist

The Workbook

Communicating to Connect

Tools and Exercises for Healthier Communication in Relationships

You already know how the argument ends. You’ve had it a hundred times.

The same fight, wearing different clothes. It starts the same way, escalates the same way, and ends the same way — one of you shuts down, one of you keeps pushing, and the thing that actually hurt never gets said.

Here’s what I’ve learned in thousands of hours in the therapy room: the problem was never that you don’t talk. It’s that no one ever showed you what to do when it’s your turn to listen.

Communicating to Connect is my clinical framework in workbook form — the same tools I use in session, written so you can use them at your own kitchen table. It’s built around one picture that changes how you see every hard conversation: every person lives in their own “house,” and every conversation is a choice about whether to stay in yours, stand in the doorway, or truly enter theirs.

Inside the 33 pages:

• The Map of the Conflict — a reusable worksheet to finally see your conflict loop clearly
• The Behavior-Impact Map — why the same moment can be innocent to one person and wounding to the other, and why you’re both right
• The Three Options for the Receiver — a clear menu for the moment someone brings you something hard
• Word-for-word scripts — Mirror, Validate, and Empathy language, so you’re never guessing what to say
• Mary and John — watch one conflict handled badly, then watch the same conflict repaired step by step
• The Order of the Repair — what to say first, second, and third
• 16 answers to the questions everyone asks — “What if the other person won’t do the work?” “How do I begin if I am already upset?”
• A Feeling Word List, self-reflection questions, and a note for the faith-filled reader — scripture on words, listening, and how we treat one another

This is for any relationship where the same argument keeps coming back — your marriage, your parent, your adult child, your friend. Work through it alone or together. It is individual work and work done side by side.

Communication is not a talent you were born without. It’s a skill no one taught you. This is the manual.

GET THE WORKBOOK >